Fottutissima Pellicceria Elsa s/t

Fottutissima Pellicceria Elsa s/t cassette tape (Fucof Records, 1983)

After something like listen number 204 of Tampax's UFO Dictator, Woodhouse and I came up with the word Tampaxian. I don't know what we first called Tampaxian. Perhaps it was Sheer Smegma's Club Nite or Unholy Swill's I Wanna Be God. I really don't know, what I am sure of is the coinage stuck.

So what exactly is Tampaxian? As noted, we used Tampax's UFO Dictator as a template. And what makes UFO Dictator such a great song is Tampax's total refusal to follow any of rock and roll's conventions. The song is too long, the vocals are unintelligible, and the playing is fifth rate. The guitar solos are not only too loud but there are three of them. The song goes nowhere and ends just because. In everyday life, it is said two wrongs don't make a right. In the Tampaxian world, ten wrongs make a great song. This is not a case of so bad it is good. No, Tampaxian is so inept, so moronic, so we-just-don't-give-a-fuck that it is brilliant.

If Woodhouse still lived across the hall, I would pound on his door, drag him into my apartment, and make him listen to FPE. FPE don't know how to write songs. The songs don't end "when they should." When a song seems to be over, another part comes along. The drummer is only one who has a grasp of his instrument and, even so, he concentrates more on fills than anything else. The vocals are blarrggghh and they use a power drill as a solo instrument. FPE are Tampaxian.

I don't know much about FPE other than, like Tampax, they were from Italy (Gorizia, to be exact), part of the international hardcore scene, and released one tape. I heard of them through a review in Maximum Rocknroll, back when a cassette tape was considered a legitmate release. I sent away for it. I think it cost me all of 2 stamps.

The original MRR review says: "The sound quality isn't the greatest, but the music more than compensates for that. F.P.E. are hard to describe--they're thrashy, jazzy, damaged, crazed, and real intense. If the MEAT PUPPETS met M.D.C. in a Chilean secret police torture chamber, the result might sound like this. (TY)"

Thanks for posting these MP3. Totally amazing.
back when MRR would actually review something like this!

wow...stumbles along like a drunken horse with its feet cut off. sorta reminds of Destroy NYC or Upside Down Cross. Totally unlistenable!

more more more
wow man. fuckin; great!!! thanks for original review. i like that description.
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